she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
