I must be too annoying 4 u.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
