just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
