Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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(913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy

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(913): View more from Kansas

your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.

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(913): your life is more of a joke than dina lohan. (1-913): if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan. http://tfl.nu/safo

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?

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(603): So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me" (1-603): Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole? http://tfl.nu/54bk

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer

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(484): Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer http://tfl.nu/we5u

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

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(865): Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all. http://tfl.nu/2gc2

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(765): View more from Indiana

we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.

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(765): we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright. http://tfl.nu/328h

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(620): View more from Kansas

He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.

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(620): He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/7tli

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

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(412): I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go. http://tfl.nu/523r

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(562): View more from California

My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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(562): My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me. http://tfl.nu/w036

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(216): View more from Ohio

Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.

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(216): Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket. http://tfl.nu/jk3k

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(519): View more from Ontario

You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.

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(519): You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone. http://tfl.nu/p7fo

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek

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(864): I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek http://tfl.nu/7b27

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?

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(612): So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one? http://tfl.nu/17zg

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.

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(920): PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET. http://tfl.nu/i8hf

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(204): View more from Manitoba

NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.

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(204): NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees. http://tfl.nu/cysh

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