If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I love having hate sex.
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
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Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?