Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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