Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize