Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
