Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Can i not drive my cunt home
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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