i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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