as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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