That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
