you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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