He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
