No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
