You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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