things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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