boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize