i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
