Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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