But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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