this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
