Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
organizing the empties. That sober.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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