remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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