I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
