Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
