she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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