She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
