i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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