I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
