New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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