So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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