community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
