I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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