If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
