your thong is hanging out like whoa
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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