Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
They took my balls.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
