my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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