I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
