i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
