Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
