First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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