member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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