do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
