I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
