i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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