I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I need help removing her.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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