You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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