I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
