I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize