Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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