I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't deserve a penis
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
