their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
