His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
