So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
