i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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