he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
