I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
