One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She said her name was "party"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
